How to Fill Your Life with What Matters Most—Starting with “Big Rocks”

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Good morning Grinders,

We all know the feeling. You start the day with good intentions, a plan, maybe even a nice cup of coffee by your side, and the determination to tackle everything on your list. But somehow, by the end of the day, you’re left wondering where the hours went. The important stuff gets buried, and you’re left with this nagging feeling that, despite being busy, you haven’t really moved forward.

Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone. We’re all juggling work, family, health, hobbies, and the never-ending daily demands that keep piling up. But here’s the million-dollar question: Are you focusing on what truly matters? Or are you letting the small, insignificant tasks crowd out the things that really define a fulfilling life?

Let’s dive into a classic story from Stephen Covey’s book, First Things First, that brilliantly illustrates this struggle. It’s called the "Big Rocks" story, and trust me—it's a game-changer for anyone who feels like they’re constantly running out of time.

The Big Rocks Story: A Lesson in Priorities and Balance

Imagine this: A teacher walks into a classroom, but instead of textbooks or lesson plans, they’re carrying a clear glass jar, a few large rocks, a bunch of pebbles, a bag of sand, and a pitcher of water. The students exchange curious looks, probably wondering, Did I accidentally walk into a science class?

The teacher begins by placing the large rocks in the jar until it’s nearly full. Then, the teacher turns to the class and asks, “Is the jar full?” Naturally, the students nod. I mean, it looks full—there’s no room left, right?

With a small smile, the teacher reaches for the pebbles and pours them into the jar. The pebbles tumble around, settling in the spaces between the rocks. “Now is it full?” The students nod again, though a bit more hesitantly this time.

But the teacher isn’t done. Next comes the sand, which trickles down and fills even more space. “How about now?” By now, the students are catching on, realizing that there might still be room.

Finally, the teacher takes the pitcher of water and pours it into the jar, filling every last gap. The students look on, amazed. The once “full” jar now holds a surprising amount of stuff!

So, What’s the Point?

After filling the jar, the teacher reveals the lesson: if you don’t put your big rocks in first, you’ll never fit them in later. If you start with the sand or the pebbles, there won’t be any room left for the big, important rocks.

The big rocks represent our highest priorities—the essential elements of a meaningful life. These could be things like family, health, personal growth, meaningful work, or anything else you truly value. The pebbles and sand? They’re all the small, everyday tasks that can feel urgent but don’t contribute much to our overall fulfillment.

The story is a powerful reminder that if we don’t make space for what’s really important, life’s little tasks will quickly crowd out the things that give our lives meaning.

Applying the “Big Rocks” Principle to Your Life

It’s a great metaphor, but how do we actually use this in real life? Here are a few steps to help you put your own “big rocks” in first:

Identify Your Big Rocks: Take some time to think about what truly matters to you. What are the things that, if neglected, would make you feel like you’re missing out on a meaningful life? These could be major goals, values, or relationships.

Schedule Your Big Rocks First: Look at your calendar and make sure you’ve allocated time for your most important priorities before anything else. This could mean setting aside time for exercise, family dinners, creative projects, or any other “big rock” you identified.

Let the Pebbles and Sand Settle in Later: Once you’ve scheduled time for your big rocks, then (and only then) add the smaller tasks and commitments. The little things will naturally find their way into the gaps, and if some don’t fit, they probably weren’t crucial anyway.

Say “No” to the Unimportant Stuff: This can be tough, but it’s essential. We often feel like we have to say yes to everything, but learning to say no to things that don’t align with your priorities is one of the best ways to create more space for what truly matters.

Review Regularly: Life changes, and so do priorities. Check in with yourself every so often to make sure your big rocks still reflect your goals and values.

Finding Balance in a Jar of Rocks

The "Big Rocks" story is a simple yet profound reminder that time is limited, and if we’re not intentional, we can easily fill our lives with tasks that don’t add up to the life we want. By putting your big rocks in first, you’re making sure that your priorities are respected and that the little stuff finds its own place without taking over.

The next time you’re feeling overwhelmed, imagine that jar and ask yourself: Am I putting in my big rocks first? This mindset shift can be transformational, helping you build a life that aligns with your values, dreams, and the relationships that matter most.

So, as you look at your schedule today, think about your jar. What are your big rocks, and how will you make space for them?

Here’s to building a life that’s as full as that jar—but with the right things.

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Best,

N. Amadeus

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